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Building Better Communication with Family Post-Deployment

Writer's picture: Kirk CarlsonKirk Carlson


Building Better Communication with Family Post-Deployment

For service members returning home after deployment, the transition to civilian and family life can be both joyful and challenging. Reintegrating into family routines and re-establishing connections often requires intentional effort and understanding. Effective communication plays a crucial role in rebuilding relationships and fostering a supportive environment. Here are some strategies to help service members and their families improve communication post-deployment.

1. Take Time to Reconnect

After months or years apart, family dynamics may have shifted. It’s essential to spend quality time together without pressure. Engage in activities that encourage bonding, such as family meals, movie nights, or outdoor adventures. Use this time to listen and share experiences to create a foundation for open communication.

2. Be Honest About Feelings

Deployment can lead to emotional and psychological changes for both the service member and family members. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings and discuss them openly. Veterans may experience stress, anxiety, or even guilt, while families may have faced challenges maintaining normalcy in their absence. Sharing emotions in a supportive environment can foster understanding and empathy.

3. Practice Active Listening

Active listening involves giving full attention to the speaker without interrupting. Repeat back what you hear to confirm understanding and ask clarifying questions when necessary. This approach helps ensure all family members feel heard and valued.

4. Set Realistic Expectations

Returning service members and their families may expect things to return to “normal” quickly. However, adjusting to a new normal takes time. Be patient and allow room for adjustments as everyone adapts to the changes.

5. Establish Healthy Boundaries

Some veterans may need time and space to decompress before fully engaging in family life. Discuss boundaries respectfully and clearly. For example, agree on quiet times or personal spaces where each member can recharge.

6. Address Conflict Constructively

Misunderstandings are natural, especially after a long separation. When conflicts arise, focus on resolving issues rather than assigning blame. Use "I" statements to express concerns (e.g., “I feel hurt when...”) and work together to find solutions.

7. Seek Professional Support When Needed

Reintegration can be a complex process, and professional counseling may provide valuable tools for improving communication and resolving conflicts. Many organizations offer free or low-cost services for veterans and their families.

8. Build New Traditions

Creating new traditions can help families bond and make new memories. Whether it’s a weekly game night, monthly outings, or annual vacations, shared experiences strengthen relationships.

9. Celebrate Progress

Recognize and celebrate small milestones in reconnecting. Whether it’s successfully discussing a tough topic or spending an uninterrupted evening together, acknowledging progress builds confidence and keeps everyone motivated.

Conclusion

Rebuilding communication and connection after deployment takes patience, empathy, and intentional effort. By prioritizing honest conversations, active listening, and shared experiences, families can navigate the challenges of reintegration and emerge stronger. Remember, it’s okay to seek outside support to make the transition smoother. Together, families can create a nurturing environment where everyone feels heard, understood, and loved.

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